It has been almost a month ago since Dr. Eamer and I stumbled upon each other’s blogs, exchanged few comments and emails, talked about his book and my upcoming book and of course, about blogging. He invited me generously to do a guest blog. I promised to write one last Holy Week. But, I didn’t.
Now at almost 12 am with Unbreakable Smile by Tori Kelly playing, I finally felt ready to share what I have to share. So here it goes…
I am fresh from a breakup of a six-year relationship last November. And then recently, when I thought we are trying to fix things up, I figured there is a new one. And the best part, is that he wants to keep me, but he cannot let go of the new one too.
Grabe! Anim na taon! Ipinagpalita ka niya? Nagpacheck-up na ba siya or x-ray? Baka naman dalawa ang puso niya. Ipatampal natin sa Boiling Waters!
In short, the ex becomes the reserved girl. The option. The last bullet in case the new one doesn’t work. What did I do? Even though it hurts, I said no. I cannot. Because love is faithful. Love is loyal. It can never be two at the same time. If it’s real love for the first one, there would never be a second one. But there is.
Tumpak. Baka nga extra-curricular activities niya iyon. Kainis ang ganyang galawan.
This kind of situation is not new and I would agree, it can dent you. Deep. So deep. Questions like, “am I not beautiful?”, “am I not enough?, “what is wrong with me?”, “what does she have that I don’t?” will slowly creep inside you. Corrupting your self-worth. Shattering your fragile confidence. And my dear, don’t worry. That’s normal.
Haaaay. I’m sorry for all the girls na nakakaranas ng ganyan. Bakit ba may mga ganoong lalaki na hindi makontento? Pero nangyayari ang mga bagay-bagay na may dahilan. Buti nalaman mo na may ganyang ugali na siya. What if nakasal na kayo diba? Mas mahirap na malaman mong may iba siya. God is still good because He spared you from such trouble na maaaring mangyari in the future.
But for you, who was left for a new one. For you who was not the chosen one. Let me tell you these 3 things (that I have been reminding myself again and again and again).
1. You are beautiful.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. – Isaiah 139:14
No matter what size. What color. What hair. What body type. How tall or how small. You are beautiful. In His time, your someone will look at you as if you are the most stunning thing he or she has ever seen. That very look will be enough to erase the questions haunting you. And that will happen in His time.
2. You are enough.
“Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.” – Deuteronomy 33:12
He or she did not choose you because you are lacking. You are enough. Created to be enough because you are created in His image. Your worth doesn’t and should never depend on anyone. You are bought by the precious blood of a King. You are enough. More than enough.
3. You are loved.
…neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Roman 8:39
Your mere existence is brought by love, the highest kind of love which goes beyond time and space. The kind of love that sees beyond failures and wrongs. The kind of love which can prove forever is too short.
So for you who was left for a new one, let me give you a tight hug because I feel the choking pain. I know the ache of losing and more so the pain of being betrayed by the one whom you thought would love you forever.
Dama ko. Kaya mo iyan Roma!
But instead of letting negative thoughts get the best of you, look up. Look up. Because you are beautiful, you are enough and you are loved.
Let your faith be bigger than your fear. Believe in His perfect timing. Trust that under the very same sky, someone is waiting to meet you, to have you, to love you and to choose you as his or her only one.
Maraming salamat sa Roma sa pagpapaunlak sa aking BLOgUEST 101. I know it took you time and courage para maisulat ito. Nawa’y makatulong ito sa ibang mga babaeng dinadanas ang napagdaanan mo.
About the author: I am Rosemarie Gonzales born in Laguna but raised in Bulacan. I work as a PR Writer/Associate in a boutique firm in Quezon City. I write for work and I write for myself in my blog A Reading Writer. I am on IG and on Facebook and my readers call me a poetess. As the name suggests, I am a reader and a writer plus a singer in between. 🙂 Singer in terms of singing as a praise and worship leader in my church. I believe writing is like breathing with words so I inhale words through books, songs, and poems and I exhale them out through writing poetry and fiction and anecdotes. 🙂
Visit her blog at areadingwritr.wordpress.com and say hello to her!
Para sa gustong maging guest blogger sa aking site, read this: How to be part of BLOgUEST 101.
PS: Ang ganitong blockquoted na mga salita ay aking side comments lang. Hindi iyon kasama ng guest blog. 🙂