Doctor Eamer

PAG-IBIG ATBP.

Ano ang mga common things na ginagawa ng mga babae kapag broken hearted sila?

Q1. Kailan ka huling naging heart broken? Share the gist of the story.

Recently lang, my boyfriend and I broke up. We were together for less than a year, and actually minsan ‘pag sinasabi ng mga tao na, “Okay lang yan, buti nga months lang,” parang nakakainis. Just because it was short-lived doesn’t make it easier to move on. Para kasing minamaliit yung sakit eh. Haha. Anyway, it was actually his idea; siya ang nakipag-break. I wanted to fight for it, kaya lang kung nakikita mo nang sumuko na yung gusto mong ipaglaban, para saan pa? Shut up ka na lang. Tanggapin mo na lang tapos iyak nang bongga.

Awwww. At lalaki pa talaga ang nakipag-break!? Pero ok lang yan, buti nga months lang. LOL! (Nang-asar. Haha!) Srsly, sometimes we need to choose the battle that we want to fight until the end. If hindi naman worth it na makipaglaban dahil alam mong sa una pa lang ay sumuko na ang kasama mo, then better reserve your strenght for that one big fight na sure kang ipaglalaban ka din.

Q2. Ano ang mga common things na ginagawa ng mga babae kapag broken hearted sila? Give at least 5.

-Umiiyak nang wagas.
-Nagpapagupit.
-Nagpapapayat.
-Nagta-travel solo or with friends (kung yayamanin ka).
-Nagshe-share ng hugot posts sa Facebook at nagre-retweet ng hugot lines sa Twitter.
-Napapadalas ang Girls Night Out: videoke, movie marathon, foodtrip, name it!
-Nagdedelete ng text conversations at photos, nag-uunfriend/unfollow, nagtatapon ng letters (or kaya ikakahon tapos itatago tapos binabalik-balikan pag nagdedepress. lol!)

FQ2. Alin doon sa questions #2 ang ginawa mo na.

Lahat. Hahaha! #girlpower

Ito na pala ang sagot para mabawasan ang rate of obesity sa Pilipinas! Makipag-break para madaming mamayat na babae. Peace!

Q3. What are the reasons why relationship fails? Give at least 3.

In light of my experience at sa experience ng iba:

a) Relationships fail because of lack of trust. And this is caused by our inability to be honest with each other, which is caused by our unwillingness to be vulnerable. Very hesitant tayo mag-open up sa taong mahal natin kasi natatakot tayo na their feelings or the way they see us will change. Pero hindi dapat ganun ang love, diba? Dapat sa isang relationship, open kayo sa isa’t-isa. If you feel that you have to hide something or keep something from your partner, aba, hindi pwede yan. It’s either you come out with it or hold your peace forever, but eventually, lalabas at lalabas din ang totoo. And either way, may masasaktan at may consequences. So mas mabuti na na maging honest ka kesa sa iba pa manggaling or kesa sa magtago ka forever. And yes, you can love a person even if you don’t trust him, but if he loves you, he will work at earning back that trust.

b) Relationships fail because of differing values. Di kayo pareho ng direction sa buhay. Di kayo pareho ng priority. Di kayo pareho ng values. Sa iba, hindi gaanong issue, pero pwede ding dahil hindi kayo pareho ng spiritual beliefs or religion. Mahalaga lang talaga na in sync kayo sa ganung mga bagay kasi yun yung magiging foundation ng future family niyo. Usually pwede naman i-work out yan as the relationship progresses, pero if not, edi shing, break-up ang kasunod.

c) Relationships fail because of lack of time. Love is spelled t-i-m-e. Not to the point na oras-oras magkasama kayo, pero you should spend time with each other, while at the same time giving each other space to have time din with others, especially friends and family.

FQ3. So alin sa #3 na sagot mo ang dahilan kung bakit kayo nag-break up ni ex mo?

Actually wala dyan yung dahilan na for why he decided that it’s better if we broke up. The reason he gave me was, na-realize daw niya na hindi pa siya ready. Haha. More about that sa Q5 siguro. :))

Q4. Ano ang mensahe mo sa mga babaeng katulad mo na broken hearted. Share as long as you want. haha!

Haaay. Where to begin? Haha. Girlfriend, keep your head up! Sabi nga ng tatay ko sakin, it’s not the end of the world. Try to enjoy your newfound freedom. If you’re like me who’s been perpetually single tapos biglang nagka-boyfriend tapos ngayon single na ulit, it may be a little harder to recover. Kasi you gave up your freedom and took a chance with that guy na akala mong pang-forever na, but sadly, ayon sa kanta ni Nikki Gil, forever is not as long as it used to be. He failed you, and you think you failed yourself. Please don’t! Try to understand that things happen for a reason, and some relationships are only for a season. There is a reason why things didn’t work out, and you may not see it now, but you will, eventually. Maybe it was just meant to teach you a lesson. Oo, pinaasa ka niya. Oo, sinaktan ka niya at hindi mo yan deserve, definitely. Oo, pinagpalit ka niya sa iba. But whatever the reason is, wala kang choice kung hindi i-endure yung pain. Iiyak mo. Then give yourself time to heal. Baby steps. Ikaw lang ang makakatulong sa sarili mo, but you are definitely at an advantage if you have girl friends you can reach out to. Personally, that helped me a lot. I wouldn’t get through the mess if not for my friends who supported me, hugged me while I was crying, prayed for me, and encouraged me everyday. Someone better will come along someday. You are beautiful, intelligent, talented. You have so much to offer. Save it for the one who will prove to you that he is worthy of your love. Be wiser na next time. And please, for your own emotional well-being, steer clear of your ex, okay? Don’t try to be friends with him right away. If he reaches out to you, politely say, “Sorry, di ko kayang makipag-casual-an sayo for now. Try again after two years.” Hindi matatawaran yung pinagsamahan niyo, but you cannot heal if you don’t move away. Kelangan mong lumayo, hindi lang emotionally but also (ideally) physically / geographically. Kung magkatrabaho kayo, mahirap pero kaya yan. Stand strong. GIRLFRIEND, YOU CAN DO THIS. You’ll get through this. Smile! God makes everything beautiful in its perfect time.

Irony of love. The more you love, the more you get hurt. Boom! Pero in my case, papatunayan kong mali ang irony na ito. The more I love, the more. 🙂

Q5. Ano ang mensahe mo sa mga lalaking naging dahilan ng pagiging broken hearted ng mga babae.

I don’t want to sound bitter, pero dude, the next time manliligaw ka, siguraduhin mo lang na kaya mong panindigan yung tao. Don’t make her fall in love with you if you can’t catch her. Honestly, nakakainis makarinig ng mga linya na, “It’s not you; it’s me.” Ayusin mo yung sarili mo before asking someone else to be a part of your life. Hindi yung liligawan mo at igir-girlfriend mo para lang di ka maunahan ng iba. Kung may mga hurts ka pa sa past mo, wag mong gawing band-aid ang new relationship. Unfair naman po yun sa mga babae na sine-save yung sarili nila for a legit relationship. Ibibigay nila nang buo ang sarili nila, tapos panakip butas lang pala? Wag ganon. Ayaw namin ng biruan. Ayaw namin ng half-hearted. Kung gusto mo ng laro, dun ka sa comuter shop or mag-download ka ng Pokemon Go. Also, don’t ever make a girl feel that she has to compete with someone else. Kung may best friend kang babae, I suggest na you manage your friendship with that person well. Observe boundaries. Decide where your loyalty lies. Kung mag-selos si gf kay bff, ask yourself, “May dahilan ba?” and honestly evaluate the situation. And I hope you will be wise enough to decide kung sino sa kanila ang pipiliin mo.

Agree! Agree! Super agree!

Siguro gaya rin ng sabi ko kanina, kung feeling mo kelangan mong itago ang isang bagay from your girlfriend, then that should be indicative that something is wrong. Don’t give her a reason to doubt you. It’s high time that we learn to be completely honest with each other. Minsan kasi ayaw niyo ng drama kaya ayaw niyong magsabi. Pero sana be man enough to handle conflict kasi minsan it is through conflict that a relationshp becomes stronger. Emotional lang talaga ang mga babae, but if she’s worth it for you, if the relationship is worth it for you, then fight for it. It is your role as a man to pursue, so if you’re not ready to pursue with all that you have, then better not. Tantanan mo na siya. At wag mo gawing dahilan na masyadong mataas ang standards niya at hindi ka na makakabawi sa mga pagkukulang mo kaya bibitawan mo siya, kasi again, kung worth it siya, quitting won’t be an option. Walang madali sa love. Kaya dapat ihanda mo ang sarili mong gawin ang lahat, kung para sayo worth it siya.

Hoy mga LALAKI! Umayos kayo ha!

FQ5. Nakamove on ka na ba? Paano ba masasabi na nakamove on na ang isang girl with their ex?

For me, naka-move on ka na kung wala ka nang galit na nararamdaman. Like, pag napatawad mo na talaga siya, and seeing him (Level 1), seeing him happy (Level 2), and seeing him happy with someone else (Boss Level) doesn’t ellicit any negativity or bitterness, or even regret. Kumbaga pag wala nang effect sayo, then naka-move on ka na.

Having said that, no, hindi pa talaga ako naka-move on. Obvious naman diba? Haha. At yung nauuso ngayon na nagiging friends kayo ng ex mo? I don’t buy it. I mean, siguro in time, pero I would admit na hindi ako ganun ka-strong and/or ka-mature para maging friends with my ex, kahit na that’s how we started. It’s hard to go back to that. Pero we’ll see. People change, and time heals. 🙂

This is part of my Chat Interview Series. I’m enjoying reading their answers to my questions. Kaya kung gusto mong magpainterview, send me an email at iamdoctoreamer@gmail.com.

Maraming salamat sa Ms. Georgina (hindi niya totoong pangalan) sa pagpapaunlak dito sa aking interview. Ano nga bang masasabi ko? Siguro sumuko ka na sa pulis. Isuko mo na ang pagiging adik mo sa pag-ibig. LOL! May rehabilitation naman ata sa mga pusong nasaktan. Aabangan ko na lang ang susunod na yugto ng kwento mo. Once in a while, tatambay ako sa blogsite mo. Pursue your dreams and passions!

Note: Green are my personal comments. Hindi iyon kasama sa interview.

“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
– Morrie Schwartz –

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This entry was posted on July 20, 2016 by in Love & Relationship.
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