BLOgUEST 101: Buhay May Asawa (The Shift)

Simula noong ako’y ni-contact ni Doctor Eamer para  magbahagi ng aking kwento patungkol sa buhay may-asawa, hindi ko alam kung paano ko ito sisimulan. Pero buti na lang at nasimulan din – sa pamamagitan ng pagkwento kung paano ko ito sisimulan. Ahaha Nagkalabo-labo na. Doc Eamer, ikaw na po bahala mag-edit. 😀

Seriously, kung may isang katanungan na lahat ng mga lalaki at babae na in a relationship sa ngayon at kahit man din ang mga singles ay palaging tinatanong, ay kung ano ba ang pakiramdam ng isang bagong kasal.

Technically speaking, kami ng asawa ko have been married for almost 2 years now. Noong 1st year wedding anniversary namin noong nakaraang August 17, 2016, ibinahagi ko rin sa blog ko ang naging karanasan namin sa unang taon ng aming pagsasama.

As they would say, ang unang taon ng pagsasama ng isang mag-asawa ang pinaka-challenging dahil ito ang tinatawag na “adjustment period” and “compromises.” Pero ayon naman sa karanasan ko, ito ang pagkakataon kung saan mas higit kong nai-apply ang 1 Corinthians 13:

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

At sa lahat ng mga pinagdaanan naming mag-asawa, by the end of every trial, ang palagian kong ginagawa ay ‘yung tinatawag kong “soul check” according naman sa fruits of the Spirit:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” – Galatians 5:22-23

Madalas kong tinatanong ang sarili ko ng mga katanungan gaya ng:

“Have I been gentle enough?”

“Nag-exert ba ako ng self-control?”

“Have I been kind and forgiving?”

“At peace ba ako sa decision at sagot ko?”

“Nagawa ko bang magtimpi?”

“Naging faithful ba ako sa mga promises ko sa Kanya (God) at sa kanya (asawa)?”

Kapag ginagawa ko ito doon ko lang nare-realize na may mga bagay akong kailangang i-improve because some of the answers are unsatisfactory – according sa standards ni God.

They say ulit na kapag nag-asawa na ang isang babae, she is after pleasing her husband and that is true. But I will also add up something to that – hindi magiging buo ang paninilbihan ng isang asawang babae sa kanyang asawang lalaki kung wala ang Dios na Syang una dapat nyang pagsisilbihan.

Paano nga ba pagsisilbihan ang Dios?

I did ask myself this question multiple of times already simula noong single ako hanggang ngayon and yet and palagi ding sagot na nakukuha ko ay ito – immerse in His Word which is the bible.

I can attest that this answer is the best answer by far, because it led me to even more answers to my never-ending questions. ☺

Lalo na noong kasagsagan ng challenges and trials sa buhay naming mag-asawa dahil sa irreconcilable differences, magkaiba ang upbringing, values and interests. Just imagine kung gaano kahirap ang gumawa ng isang desisyon na pareho kayo nagkakasundo. Sabi nga nila, no two persons are ever the same. Kahit nga daw identical twins e may pagkakaiba pa din.

AND YET, hindi kailanman naging rason ito para magpatinag ako sa aking faith sa Panginoon. True enough, ginawan ng Dios ng paraan na ang mga challenges na ito ang lalong magpapatatag ng aking pananampalataya sa Kanya which also made our marriage stronger.

Siguro kung hindi talaga sa faith, matagal na siguro kaming annulled ng asawa ko months after pa lang ng aming kasal. Faith is the one thing that binds every race, every culture, and every person saan ka pa man nanggaling. And it is also true pagdating sa marriage. Kung wala ang Dios sa buhay ng isang mag-asawa, the marriage will surely fail. Ika nga sa God triangle, the more that a couple spends time with God, the more na napapalapit sila sa isa’t isa.

I never thought my husband and I will survive the first year of our marriage, but I am glad God made it happen for both of us. #KapitPaMoreKayGod lang talaga dapat ang mga hashtags palagi and also this verse:

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” – Hebrews 11:1

Now, my question is this, do you have the faith that God will give you what He has promised and do you have the faith to claim it? If your answer is YES, I am sure hindi ka malilihis ng patutunguhan gaano pa man kalakas ng agos ang kailangan mong tawirin. You will and you will get to the other side whichever is God’s will for you – happily and contentedly blessed as a single, being in a relationship, being married, and being in eternity. Huwag sa dark side ha – no entry ‘yun para sa ating mga believers. 😀

P.S.

Alam nyo ba ang konsepto ng “talking stick”? If not yet, I suggest na alamin din ninyo ito. Isang napakalaking tulong lalo na pagdating sa mga serious sit-down discussions and decision making na madalas ginagawa ng isang mag-asawa.

Huwag lang “walking stick” ha kasi walk-out mode ‘yun. ‘Di ‘yun maganda. 😀 But on a side note, during arguments, may tinatawag din kami ng asawa ko na “cool down” moments o ‘yung mga “kalma muna at magpahangin” moments. Hindi dito applicable ang saying na “Strike while the iron is hot.” Mai-istrayk ka talaga ng ‘di oras. lol 😉

But my general advice is, like in any classroom na there is no “one size fits all” medium of instruction, nasa mag-asawa pa rin kung ano ang mga bagay-bagay which will make their marriage work along with lots of prayer and lots of faith. ☺

Photo Credits (here)

---

About the author: Christine Ginete-Rome is a Bulaneña, a Sorsogueña, a Bicolana, and a Filipina. She is a devoted Christian, wife, prayer warrior and advocate who is imperfect but driven to encourage everyone to be a catalyst of social change, be a better us and serve others – through God’s grace, guidance and prayers. She is nothing without GOD and she serves Him first. Not to us, but to His Name be the GLORY.

Visit her blog at chinginete.wordpress.com and say hello to her!

Para sa gustong maging guest blogger sa aking site, read this: How to be part of BLOgUEST 101.

Link of Archives of BLOgUEST 101

***

Ilagay ang email address kung gusto mong maging updated sa mga blog posts ko. 🙂

Submit

Δ

Occasionally, visitors may see an advertisement here.