This is the continuation of the previous Chat Interview: Mahirap bang maging NBSB? Elaborate.
Q3. Paano kayo nagkakilala ng first and last boyfriend mo?
Matagal na akong graduate sa textmates. Mabait lang akong sumagot sa text, telling them sorry, I was not interested, but goodluck on their next try. Kasi nga, I had no time to play, waste of time. Eh may biglang tumawag, nag-hello ako, di sumagot. Maya-maya, kunwari, nag-text, supposedly for somebody else. Obvious, ‘no? Pero mabait pa rin akong sumagot, hinuhuli ko kung kakilala ko, baka binibiro ako. Kasi naman, may something sa text niya that made me doubt that that person didn’t know who I was.
To make the long story short, he told me the truth and told me who he was, he even made me check his sister’s FB. Of course, that didn’t prove much, but he had an interesting background that I was curious to find out kung totoo. After a while, napatunayan naman niya (s’yempre, level-up na sa calls, ha?). Pero di ko pa rin binigay buo kong pangalan, nick lang, mahirap na. I was very careful. We became really close and I felt free to tell him anything, even my darkest secrets. Kasi, my point was, di naman niya ako kilala talaga. S’ya pa kilala ko, kung totoo man name na binigay niya, although the sister confirmed it. I made it clear, I wasn’t looking for a relationship, friends-friends lang. (S’yempre, eventually, magkikita rin kami, though later pa, at malalaman din niya tunay kong pangalan).
Fast forward: I wasn’t really that into it when we became a couple, sabi ko subok lang ako, at alam naman niya ‘yon. Kasi sabi ko sa sarili ko, ayoko namang papatol lang ako out of desperation. Desperada ang peg talaga. Ayoko ring pakasal kung sakali dahil lang sa gusto kong humabol sa huling byahe. Dapat ‘yung may love talaga. At ang isang totoo, I wanted to prove to myself na tao nga ako. Seryoso! Kasi ang di ko gets, bakit ako mismo, I never felt anything that was even near to love for any guy, not even girl, just in case lang. Normal ba ‘yon for my age at all? Ewan.
I took a chance because at that time, it seemed the Lord answered my prayer, which went like this: “Lord, kung mawala na po mga magulang ko and since may pamilya na si Ate, kung wala akong maiiwang BF o asawa o mga anak, oks lang po na kunin na ninyo ako. Kahit pa hindi matupad mga ambition ko, oks lang.” Tapos, I had a more specific request from Him that kind of gave me a sign when I was talking to my future BF. I wasn’t even asking for any sign ’cause I knew signs could be misleading. It was really more of a realization. Sabi ko kasi ayaw ko kaya nagulat siya at sinagot ko siya. Noong panahon ding ‘yon kasi, maraming mga bagay that made me feel that Fate was at hand sa buong buhay ko that year. You’ll be surprised if I’ll tell you everything.
Fast forward again and I’m now happily married to someone I now really love (tao pala nga ako!) and who loves me back and takes care of me. It’s not smooth-sailing and there are more rough roads ahead, I gather, but we plan to be together as long as we live no matter what. Di na kami bata para maglaro o mag-inarte sa buhay.
Q4. Any insights or lessons learned while waiting for your partner in life.
For the record, I didn’t exactly wait. But I’ve said this before: “When I finally meet my Creator, He will not be looking for the ring on my finger; He will not measure my worth by how many kids I’ve brought to the world; and He will not condemn me for not saying “I do.” Instead, He will ask how I lived my life regardless of a ring; He will measure me by how many kids I’ve helped bring up as good persons; and He will ask me what I did for others unselfishly. I will not face him as a single or a married person. I will stand before my Creator as an individual. That’s what really counts.”
Q5. Message to all NBSB.
One, don’t wait. Don’t waste your time waiting. Don’t lose hope, yes, but do not make it your life-long goal kundi, baka nga ma-depress ka lalo. It will happen if it will happen. If it does not, at least find a way to be happy nevertheless. You owe it to yourself. Maybe do something that will benefit others.
Two, others can eat their opinions. If you’re just thinking of what others say or think of your situation, shove it. Kaya ka ba mag-BF, para lang matigil sila sa pangungulit? Sino ba ang magsa-suffer kung sakali, sila?
Three, don’t be desperate. Don’t settle for two-timers na all-too willing to treat you as a fling or mistress. Where’s the dignity there? Parang mas nakakahiya yata ‘yon kesa maging NBSB for Life.
Four, kung NBSB or single ka, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you and that you’re incomplete. We just have different circumstances. You’re already complete, as an individual–icing on the cake lang ang ibang tao who’ll add flavor to your life.
Five, be careful what you wish for.
Hi Gi! Maraming salamat sa pagpapaunlak sa aking interview. Ginawa kong dalawang article kasi medyo mahaba. Pero madami akong natutunan. Thanks for sharing part of your life. I am praying for fruitfulness upon every aspect of your life. God bless! Let’s collaborate in some other events or activities. Cheers!
I hope you learn something from this Chat Interview Series. Kaya kung gusto mong magpainterview, send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.