Doctor Eamer

PAG-IBIG ATBP.

A Message to My Ex

Isang mapagmahal na araw sa ating lahat. Kaytagal na din nang huli akong gumawa ng Blog Series dito sa aking website. Kung nais mong balikan ang mga alaala (diyan ka naman magaling) ng aking mga naging series dati, you can check the following:

Blogger’s Confession (Three Entries)

Breaking News (Five Entries)

Bukas na Liham (Five Entries)

Single Empowerment (Six Entries)

That Thing Called (Three Entries)

Ang napili ko ngayong Blog Series ay “Chat Interview”. It will be an online interview with some of my friends, co-bloggers, followers, readers, and abangers. The topic is everything na may kinalaman sa pag-ibig. That’s why the subtitle of this site is PAG-IBIG ATBP. You read it right, pag-ibig at iba pa. I will post a blog every Sunday. So stay tune!

Side Comment: Green fonts are my comments.

For my first interviewee na medyo ayaw magpakilala, ito ang aming naging conversation via Google Hangout:

Q1: Define EX.

A1: EX is something that denotes the PAST. Lahat ng tapos na. Nakaraan na. EX yan. 

Kung past is past. Then ex is ex? LOL!

Follow Up Q: So ilan na lahat ang naging EX BF mo? Yung official lang. 

A: Two official. But isa lang ang masasabi kong real relationship. Haha! Ilan kaya ang unofficial?

Q2. Nasaktan ka ba ng labis noong EX mo na masasabi mong real relationship? Please elaborate and explain.

A2. Hurt was understatement. Devastated, broken and all. At first, I was in the stage of denial. I knew it wasn’t working anymore but I tried to fight harder. Later I gave it all up because its much harder to fight when you’re the only one fighting. It’s like fighting a useless battle, you’ve got the entire shield but the reason for fighting is not worth the risk anymore.

It’s sad how someone touched your life in a way your heart can only comprehend and then all of a sudden that someone you know turned into someone you just knew.

Sometimes, I questioned myself if he really did love me or it was just for a facade. Maybe he did or maybe he did not. But if I were to rely on my instincts, he did. I felt it. It was real. It’s just that those feelings were not made to last forever.

It took me three months to finally move on. The process was so difficult. I had undergone an excruciating heartbreak that it left me feeling so blue. I found myself staring blankly on the wall then tears from my eyes would just race down through my cheeks.

I even cried myself to sleep then waking up would still be the hardest part because you’d still find yourself crying; crying until you got tired. My mind was full of questions – what if’s and could have been’s. I cannot go out because I was just too wasted to face the world. I’d smile but I knew I was just pretending.

Pretending I was okay when I knew I wasn’t really. All of those stuff, I’ve been into that until that one sunny day when I was able to look up and smile at the sun, when I did not force myself to paint a real smile on my face for the first time.

Haba ng sagot niya. Prepared sa mga tanong. Malalim talaga ang hugot.

Follow Up Q: Is there any third party? Or umalis na lang siya bigla? Elaborate more.

A: I would have to admit. There is a third party. Sakit kaya. Haha! But he was honest about it when I confronted him. at pinapili ko sya. Pinili nya yong girl kasi kayang ibigay ang mga pangangailangan niya. Haha!

The only party na ayokong puntahan. Third party. So ang mga mistress at mga mang-aagaw ay dapat may boses sa Senado. Iboto ang Third Party List. Haha!

Q3: To every man out there who are in a  relationship, what can you advice to them, so that hindi mangyari sa kanila ang nangyaring break-up sa inyo.

A3: My advice is that when you commit yourself into a relationship you have to be responsible and remember that what comprises a relationship is not only about LOVE but also TRUST, RESPECT and COMMITMENT. Kung hindi ka na masaya, be honest. Kung may gusto ka na hindi kayang ibigay ng partner mo, be open about it. And before you enter into a relationship, you should set your expectations so that clear ang mga bagay. Be serious. Relationship is not a game. Or if laro lang talaga ang gusto mo, maghanap ka ng kalaro huwag yong kelangan may masaktan. lahat nagmamahal pero hindi lahat nagtatagal. 

Mga boys, be men! Sundin natin ang payong ito.

Q4: So paano ka nag-move on? Any tips on moving on para sa mga babaeng makakabasa ng sagot mo?

A4: I decided to face reality. I accepted the fact that it ended, that we’re not together anymore; and that I still have to live my life and just owe him for the happiness for the last three months. Those months when were together were the happiest. Despite heavy problems, I could still smile because he was always there ready to give me a comfort hug. He never left my side. I guess I was too dependent on him that I had a hard time coping when he was already gone.

He was younger than me but I learned many lessons from him. To name some: I’ve learned to smile even in the saddest time, to be pessimistic in any ways, to trust again. I learned to love again and not only that, I also learned that efforts are not the basis of knowing someone’s feelings. I’ve learned that one can love you today but won’t love you the same tomorrow.

Above all, I learned to endure the pain in making myself whole again. Relationship ends not because you failed to make it work, not because you’re not meant to be but because the role of that someone in your life has to end; it has served its purpose by teaching you a lesson. That lesson may not be easy to recognize but in the long run, you’ll realize it for sure. One day you’ll have to thank that person for hurting you.

It’s true that time heals all wounds (though scars would remain). As time passes, we’ll eventually find out that we’re not hurting anymore, that upon remembering those happy times, instead of being bitter, you’ll smile because once in your life, you were that happy with that person. Keep in mind that if you were that happy with that someone, what more with “the one?”

Cheer up. Heartbreak will last as long as you want and cut deep as you allow it. Life is still beautiful; we just failed to notice it when we are in deep pain. But I’ll have to tell you (this one’s from my favorite book) that the best thing about pain is that if it won’t kill you, it will make you stronger.

The art of letting go requires mastery and perfect timing. I have been hurt before and I have to disagree with “first cut is the deepest,” since every time I fall again; it’s a different story and I always loved truly. In the end, it would really hurt badly.

“No amount of preparation can avert the pain once it started to appear,” (64ED) You cannot get back a day. You have to bleed. You have to get broken and no matter what you say or do, your heart will never be the same again. Sometimes you have to break the rules so that you might have something to regret later on. But then again, in life, there are no mistakes, only lessons learned. Follow your heart. Go for your happiness even it would mean sadness the next day. Life is temporary though. “All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on” as said by Havelock Ellis.

Prepared talaga diba? Sobrang haba ng moving on. Haha! But these are really helpful.

More tips:

1. Endure the pain. huwag maghanap ng rebound. You have to go through the pain alone. You can share it to your friends but don’t depend on them
2. Do not consume yourself with pain. Endure and Let go the pain by accepting that it ended. Mas madali mag move on kung tanggap mo na pero syempre hindi madali. Some took months, years and I don’t know but what I can say is that DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME MOURNING FOR SOMETHING OR SOMEONE THAT IS NOT WORTH IT.
3. Relationship ends because it has to end. Move on!
4. think of things that will make you happy. Divert your attention. Don’t stay sad. Find reason to be happy.
5. Pray. Let God heal you. LET GO AND LET GOD. Life is beautiful anyway.

Q5 (Final Question): Message to Your EX. Up to 143 words only. 

A5: Pwede poem na lang? Haha! Of course.

THE FIRST SONNET EVER
I shall be writing this sonnet for you.
Poured my heart and all memories for keep
For you’ve painted my life with all the hue
But I admit that in the end I weep.
I remembered perfectly and clearly
How you looked into me with so much glee.
Yet our song ended early and sadly
You chose to leave me wishing my soul flee.
I shall hate you for choosing her than me.
The memories left me wounded and blue.
I tried to be happy as I can be
Still the tears won’t stop giving me no clue.
As long as I can write our love story,
I shall write it once and not feel sorry.

Oha! May soundcloud pa! Galing!

PS: Medyo mahaba ang naging sagot niya sa aking interview pero alam kong madami kang natutunan sa mga sagot niya. Ganyan naman dapat ang buhay, we learn from our mistakes. If you don’t want to have mistakes, then learn from others’ mistakes. LOL!

Sa mga gustong magpaunlak sa aking Chat Interview, mangyari lamang na ilagay ninyo ang inyong email sa box sa ibaba. I will send the instructions and we can proceed to our chat interview depending on your availability and my availability. Hanggang sa susunod na Linggo at sa susunod na kuwento!

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This entry was posted on June 12, 2016 by in Love & Relationship and tagged , , , , , , .
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