May Forever Pero Walang Forever Long Distance Relationship

Dalawang blog title ang pinagpilian ko para sa #TuesdayPost na ito: (a) Gaano Kalayo ang Isang Long Distance Relationship (LDR)? at (b) Hanggang Kailan Magtatagal ang Isang Long Distance Relationship (LDR)?

Pero habang ginagawa ko ito, biglang may naisip na naman akong title. Parang conclusion na nga ang title ko. Pero hayaan ninyong ibahagi ko ang ilan sa mga binigay na pananaw ng mga kaibigan ko sa Facebook.

Bago tayo magpatuloy, kaya mo bang sagutin ang Math problem na ito?

Two cars started from the same point, at 8:43 pm, traveling in opposite directions at 40 and 50 mph respectively. At what time will they be 450 miles apart?

Sa Mathematics, ang tawag sa mga ganitong problems ay Distance Problems. Pati para sa Math may LDR? 🙂 Ang sagot sa tanong na ito ay 1:43 am. Kung hindi mo alam kung paano nakuha, puntahan mo ito.

Some tips from Ate Mari:

1. Be patient. LDRs are not for the impatient and fainthearted.

2. Be creative. Natry niyo na bang sabay na manood ng movie through skype?

3. Communicate. Buti nalang may roaming, fb, viber, skype, email atbp.

4. Enjoy life. Life goes on even without your significant other.

5. Have an endpoint in sight. Dapat clear sa inyong dalawa na hindi kayo long distance forever.

6. Make the most of every moment. when you are together. And when you are not together.

Payo mula kay Kuya Joseph of Toronto, Ontario, Canada:

7.  For LDR to work, your relationship needs to have substance. It would help if you knew each other before as friends. Most LDR has the kilig factor when the relationship is virtual (that text or chat makes someones day, you know) but loses steam the moment you get to know the person. If the relationship is mostly virtual, make sure to really know the person before committing to anything.

8. LDRs are like any prolonged or delayed promise. It should pass the test of time. Think of Abraham as your hero (but hopefully, you don’t have to wait for 25 year though. hehehe).

9. LDRs will cost you. Before FB and chats and when the internet was relatively slower, it cost me around 5 inches tall of phone cards. Important dates should be celebrated. You must be creative too. It requires a lot of work for it to work but so as other relationships as well.

10. In terms of duration, I do not know if I can put a proper timeline but i would have to say siguro mga 2-3 years you have to revisit your decision kung mag-BF pa lang. Kapag 2-3 years kasi also means a change in job or career, change ng tinitirhan mo, maybe you have finished studies or refresher courses, etc. Kung mag-asawa naman na (some countries require na kasal na kayo before sponsorship), then it goes back to the test of time.

11. It will also help to let people around you (church, work, friends) know that you are already taken. Lalo dito na outnumbered ng filpinas ang mga pinoys (due to the caregiver program), this sets boundaries at once.

12.  There will be detractors or people who will tell you to move on and find another. Bottom line is if your relationship is secure in the Lord and you know in your heart she is the one, no amount of chatter can deter you. These people are mostly talking about their experiences but their history is not your history.

Sabi naman ni Ninang Thennie:

13. Through God’s grace and enough trust with each other, we were able to overcome the challenges of LDR.

14. It is challenging but as I said, it is possible!!

Ilang mga #hugot:

15. Dapat meron pa rin siyang slot sa oras mo, despite sa mga academic requirements at extra-curricular activities mo. at any rate, honesty and trust, communication at meeting once in a while keep the flame burning. -Anon1

16. Maintaining a long distance relationship includes every hour update kung nasan ka, anong ginagawa mo, anong iniisip mo, anong emotion mo, lahat voice call at least once a day, wall post sa friendster (yeah it feels like million years ago na talaga) and everything that will keep you from thinking na ang layo niyo talaga sa isa’t isa. -Anon2

17. Feeling ko mas malaking factor dapat yung trust andcommitment. Dapat malinaw din kung saan patungo yung relationship. -Anon3

18. Para sa akin LDRs won’t work. -Anon4

19. Mahirap. Mahirap talaga. As in. Sobra. -Anon5

20. Hindi kami LDR technically pero parang LDR pa din kasi hindi naman kami madalas magkita kahit isang sakay lang ng jeep ang pagitan namin. Wala talaga. Nakulangan ako sa effort niya. -Anon6

Tingin ko next time na lang ako magbibigay ng kumento. Asahan ninyo na may kasunod akong post about LDR pa din. Wala ako sa mood mag-blog today kasi. Iniisip ko kasi kung handa ba akong pumasok sa isang LDR. 🙂 Pero sabi ko nga sa 101 Things About Me, #13. Long distance relationship is also not for me. But I am open for that (if ever). It’s just a matter of strategy and innovative way of communication.

Para naman bigyan ko ng hustisya ang title ko, hindi ako sang ayon sa sobrang tagal na LDR. Nagpakasal kayo tapos wala pang isang buwan na ikinasal kayo ay pumunta ka na sa Dubai. Tapos sabi mo two years lang. Ang two years mo naging 20 years? Nakatapos na ng kolehiyo ang anak mo nasa Dubai ka pa din? Nasaan ka noong 1st birthday niya? Noong unang araw na pumasok siya sa paaralan? Noong nagpatuli siya? Noong nagtapos siya bilang valedictorian sa kanilang elementary school? Noong nakatapos na siya sa high school? Noong nagkaroon siya ng unang bagsak sa kolehiyo? Noong kinuha na niya ang diploma niya na katibayang nakapagtapos siya ng kolehiyo? Nasaan ka nang mga panahong kailangan ka nila? Nasaan ka! Lumabas ka!lol!

Seriously, hindi lang pagbibigay ng pera at suportang financial ang responsibilidad mo bilang ama at asawa. Responsibilidad mong alagaan at gabayan ang iyong anak hanggang sa kanyang paglaki. Sabi nga ni Tito Mon, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Tapos noong nabalitaan mong nakabuntis ang isa mong anak, galit na galit ka at hindi mo siya pinansin ng limang taon. Tapos ang isa mong anak nalulong sa masamang bisyo. Binugbog mo siya noong bumalik ka ng Pinas. Isang buwan ka nga lang umuwi pero araw-araw mong sinasaktan ang anak mong iyon. Bakit, nasaan ka ba ng mga panahong kailangan nila ng isang ama na gagabay sa kanila? Wala. Wala ka sa tabi nila. Hindi nila kailangan ng pera (siyempre kailangan din naman talaga). Presensiya at pagmamahal mo ang kailangan nila.

Mukhang malalim na hugot iyon! Pasintabi po sa mga tatay na OFW. Scenario lamang po ang ibinigay ko. Hindi po hango iyon sa tunay na buhay. Pero maaaring may ganyang kuwento talaga.

Paalam na muna!

-Doctor Eamer

https://www.facebook.com/iamdoctoreamer